What I’m Loving and Learning This Week

Quote of the week

Peace comes from within. Do not seek without it.
– Buddha

PERSONAL GROWTH

October was weird and hard. And then Mercury went into “retrograde” – is that real? Is it just fantasy? Not sure, but it feels pretty real right now.

Anyways, on Tuesday, I shared why October was such a weird month for me…I guess why the past year and a half have been weird.

On October 2nd, I lost my job.

Not only did I lose this job, but this was the second time I’ve lost my job in a year and a half.

It wasn’t because of my skill or performance. It wasn’t because someone didn’t like me. It was because the companies closed their doors suddenly. No severance. No extension of health insurance. It was a big peace out & good luck.

In both circumstances, I felt like most people feel during sudden life changes. Anxiety. Fear. Sadness. Anger.

I asked myself questions like:
“How will I make money?”
“When will I find a job? What if I never find a job?”
“How many jobs do I need to apply to each day to get a job?”
“What do I need to change in order to make this doable?”
“What do I even want to do with my life?”
“How could a company be so irresponsible to put employees at risk?”

I felt really alone.

The first time this happened, in April 2018, I let those feelings stay with me. I led with fear.

My actions, my emotions, my interactions were all fear based. This lead to frenetic energy, pushing too hard, and neediness…and let’s be honest, neediness isn’t attractive. You can read more about that experience in this post.

Ultimately, this led to me walking through doors that were only slightly opened for me and resistant instead of gracefully gliding into what I think I’m meant to do and a place I can truly shine.

This didn’t feel good, and what I’m slowly learning is that you don’t have to PUSH so hard for life to feel good.

So this time around I’m leading with faith, hard work, and being true to myself. I am allowing myself space for creativity, discovery, and openness. I’m welcoming help from others, learning to say no, and having more self-compassion.

This has taken a lot of inside work, and I’ve barely scratched the surface.

It just so happens that 1 week before we closed, I started working with a therapist who has been helping me in so many profound ways. We talk about control, letting go, learning to “just be”, and loving myself for who I am not who I think others want me to be. I’ll share more about this experience as it feels comfortable.

Often this type of work feels worse before it feels better. All of the things you judge yourself for are up front and center. You uncover things from your past that are haunting you. And it can make you question if you’re on the right path forward.

When I shared what happened on social media, I was overwhelmed with gratitude; of an outpouring of support, wishes, and offering help.

I didn’t share this to get sympathy from others. I shared because I want people to know 2 things…

1) Life is hard. Hard moments are where opportunity lies. And feeling your emotions is important. While we can’t control what happens to us, we can work to shift our mindset and our perspective around the situation so we can move forward into better experiences and fulfillment.

2) You’re not alone in feeling like life is hard. I don’t love the idea of misery loves company, but what I do love is knowing that we are all human and the things that make us human are far more important than the things that make us different.

There’s a song in Dear Evan Hansen where he says,

“every time you call out you’re a little less alone…”

I was nervous to share this and other things about myself because it’s vulnerable, and…it’s a bit embarrassing to share on social media, but social media is where our communities are and if we can use them to connect in a more conscious way they can be really powerful. It felt REALLY good to say it out loud and it felt REALLY good to get a response.

We’re in this crazy thing called life together.

If you have something you want to share, please feel free to reach out to me. I would love to hear from you.

My email is hailey@hailey-miller.com.
My Instagram is @thehaileydaily
You can text me 315-675-5034

I’m here for you!

READING

In line with the above, I read Super Attractor by Gabby Bernstein cover to cover in just a few days. I’ve never been someone who has connected with my spiritual side in a metaphysical way, but Gabby’s book was approachable and helped me get through the first few weeks of my unemployment, job search, and career discovery in a much more peaceful way.
Feeling good, feels good!

LISTENING

Brand Yourself by Blair Badenhop. Blair was my boss when I worked at IIN!! ! I always looked up to and admired her so much. She always had the cutest outfits, our team looked up to her, and had great ideas.

When she left IIN she hustled her booty to break out on her own and now runs a successful business. We had coffee a few months ago, before she welcomed her little peanut into the world, and she is full of wisdom and has such a calm, peaceful energy.

She’s a branding maven for health coaches and her podcast Brand Yourself interviews (mostly) women in wellness about how they built epic brands. I recently listened to the episode with Emily Fletcher of Ziva Meditation.

SUSTAINABILITY

I loved this piece in the NYT called “Know Your Organic Food.” It takes a deep dive into whether or not eating organic is actually more sustainable for the environment. It turns out, there are elements of industrial organic farm practices that actually increase our carbon footprint as much as meat. WHAT!? HOWEVER, shopping small and locally is a great way to reduce your carbon footprint and eat pesticide free.

FUN FACT! The food from many local farms is actually equally as good for you as organic but because getting an organic label is so expensive, they don’t get them.

You can use Local Harvest to find one near you!

WATCHING

I love Reese. I LOVE Jen. I love Steve Carrell. How could I not like The Morning Show? You’re right, I couldn’t NOT love The Morning Show. Although parts of it were a bit TOO Matt Lauer-esque, I liked the strong female characters and the storyline was fun.

Truth be told, I binged all three episodes last weekend before watching the marathon.

CHEWING…slurping…

This soup from Bonberi. Oh. M. GEEEEEE. So good, nourishing, satisfying. All of the things! It practices the rules of food combining, which I turn to when my digestion is off. I enjoyed the soup twice this week with gluten free avocado toast.

NEW ON MY PODCAST HOW WE’LL LIVE

I sat down with my new friend Paige Pichler. With everything going on with me, it couldn’t have come at a better time. We talked about leaning into faith, letting go of control, and learning how to use pain as learning opportunities. Paige was so open and vulnerable. I am inspired by her bravery to talk about everything she’s experienced including an eating disorder and trauma. Grab the episode here or listen right on my website.