A few Saturdays ago, I got the unique opportunity to spend the night with my best friend…ME! More on that relationship another time…
Over the past few months, I’ve been looking for some new bedroom décor and furniture to make my room feel like my own little oasis. When you live with roommates it’s hard, yet important, to feel like you have a comfortable space that you can call your own. As I was browsing a few of my favorite websites, Refinery 29, The Everygirl, and WhoWhatWear, I came across an article about the top décor trends to watch out for this year. Perfect. I thought!
As I scrolled through the carousel of perfectly curated rooms with envy, the third trent stood out to me, “Embracing Imperfections.”
Huh, interesting timing. I thought.
The slide was all about the ancient Japanese lifestyle philosophy Wabi-sabi or making peace with the imperfections of your home as well as the unpredictable nature of life and doing ‘bare minimum repairs.’
Immediately intrigued. Must do more research. (as you can see, my best friend and I never run out of things to talk about)
The search for new furniture halted, and I dove into the world of ‘wabi-sabi’. In short, Wabi Sabi is rooted in ancient Japanese Buddhism and is about celebrating life’s imperfections like embracing the beautiful chipped China rather than wishing for a new more pristine version or seeing the cracks on the hardwood floor as a sign of wisdom; relishing the complexities of ancient architecture.
How beautiful these imperfections are. But are they really imperfect?
The more I read about the Japanese version of the ‘Art of Imperfection’, the more it resonated. One of my greatest intentions for 2018 is to cultivate more kindness towards myself, much of which comes through embracing the parts of me that I see as less than perfect.
While ‘wabi-sabi’ is more related to the physical home that we live in, I felt a deeper resonance and connection with my personal home; the house that I live in – my mind, my body, my spirit and my character.
If you knew what my car looked like in college aka my second closet, you might not believe it, but I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist. Not in an OCD kind of way or the way in which I need to have perfect things, but more in the way I see myself – how I act, think, feel, and look. How I appear to others.
In a seeking ‘perfection’ (whatever the hell that even means) I actually hold myself back from reaching my full potential in a truly authentic way.
Later that week, as if the Universe was watching me and teaching me more lessons, I was listening to a Super Soul Conversation. The topic? Perfectionism.
The kicker…while we seek perfection, it’s actually a flaw and defense mechanism. It’s actually a negative disguised by a positive cultural connotation and primarily, it’s fear in a clever disguise to help you feel like you’ve got it all pulled together and in control.
For me, my perfectionism appears in a two main ways: my need to structure and organize everything from my work, my life, and relationships and in my desire for things to appear like things are ‘all good’.
I see this in a lot of others, too. A lack of true vulnerability that allows us to connect on deep levels with ourselves and with others out of a fear of hurt, rejection and discomfort. This can cause repressed negative emotions and decreased enjoyment out of what could be life’s most fulfilling moments.
Culturally, we’re hardwired to want and desire more in all aspects of our life, but what is perfect, who defines it? Does perfection even exist?
What if we were able to think of the wrinkles around our eyes like the signs of wisdom rather than the spot that botox needs to be injected. What if we were able to love the twists and turns of an imperfect journey and embrace them as opportunities to learn and grow?
Could we be more fulfilled?
Let me know what you think in the comments section below!